As a young person,I was told I could do anything I set my mind to, if I worked hard and kept perservering. But now, as I an adult, I have learned the other side of the lesson- I can do ANYTHING, but I can't do EVERYTHING. I have limited time, money, and resources, and I have to pick and choose what is truly important.
The question is no longer, "Can I do it?" The question is now, "Is it worth it?" Does it line up with my beliefs and my values, and what will I have to give up in order to gain it?
For example, I COULD spend all my free time trying to get fit at the gym. I COULD painstakingly clean my entire house and make sure it is spotless everyday. I COULD devote all my time to doing perfect work in my career or devote myself entirely to a ministry at church.
But...where would that leave my relationship with God, my husband, my family, my dogs...? What do I stand to gain from these choices, and is it worth what I could lose? The answer is usually "no."
So, I suffer in the weight of my own incompletions and imperfections and feel as though I flounder a little. Because this is a smaller price to pay than forgetting what is most important, which is God and people.
The choice becomes- Who do I care about more? Myself, and my "Identity"- or about God and the people around me. So I take the time to devote to relationships, because the alternative may make me more successful in the short term, but it has no bearing on the eternal, and my time on this earthly plane is limited.
Things that used to seem important (like "keeping it all together") are not as important as I thought.