Wednesday, June 16, 2010
They Never Changed
I have clients who have never changed. They are as troubled today as they were when we started. As likely to behave poorly as before, as likely to go to prison as before...but somehow we have forged a relationship. And now on the eve of saying goodbye, I am discovering that maybe they were changed and affected by our time together. Their unwillingness to accept another therapist, their conversations between themselves, their questions about why I'm giving up my caseload...it reminds me that maybe it hasn't been so meaningless after all. Maybe out there, they were crummy, but in my office, they were usually pretty polite, and shared their successes with me, even if they didn't trust enough to show their failures. I wish I could have been a better therapist to them- I wish my plastic magic wand could have really healed them...but at the end I'm finding that maybe it wasn't so useless after all, our meetings together. Now I just hope they will lead good lives. I hope they get better. I hope they find Christ. I hope they learn right and wrong and why it's important to be decent to people even if they aren't decent to you. I love my kids. I sure hope they'll be okay, and that someday they really will change for the better.